3. Ransom Shock

It is all still a little bit vague in my memory, so forgive my ambiguity on the details. I do however recall it being exactly 10:56am and 34 seconds when I walked in to the office that fateful Thursday morning. It was the 18th of July 2002, and it was a working day like any other. The air did have a stench of rotting baking soda (or maybe it was old deceased Johnny), but as always is the case with these things you only realise such connections in hindsight.

I saw from a distance that there were a couple of people huddled around my desk. This was of course not unusual, as everyone huddles around my desk all the time just to try and absorb some of my naturally potent pheromones using their noses, but never to any avail. If they really want hormonal dogs of different breeds to chase after them they have to find alternatives. But this time it was different. Something was definitely amiss. I shouldered my way through the mass of deep-sniffing noses to see a note on the keyboard. This was also when I noticed that Alien was missing.

You can read the note for yourself. It was the most repugnantly evil and malicious thing I've ever seen. I stood shocked, unable to breathe or think as the people around me started laughing hysterically in a slow-motion blur.

The ransom was 26 jelly babies. Alien was gone. Nobody knew where he was or who had taken him. It was the worst day of my life.